I want to look ugly for a while.
I want my body hidden beneath oversized sweaters and baggy pants. I want to wear the same clothing for weeks, even if I spill stuff on it. I want to smell. I don't want to shower.
I do not want anyone to think I am attractive. I cannot offer myself up for them to find me so. All I want is to be unnoticed and unnoticeable.
So I will make myself drab and small. Then, should it be required that I tiptoe into the world, no one need ever know that I was there.
