25 February 2011

Calling Doctors

When you must call doctors to make appointments, or dentists or offices of any kind, do not call during business hours. It is dangerous: a voice will reach through the telephone to grab you by the neck and demand, Quick: what is your business? Quick: why are you calling today? You will get flustered and jumble what you wanted to say. A misunderstanding will arise, and you will have to correct it. You will stutter and sound like a fool.

Instead, call after hours. Leave a message and wait; someone will call back the next day. If you feel calm enough, you can pick up then, but if not, you can let them leave you a message in turn. Eventually, after enough messages have been left, you will have warmed up to the idea of talking on the telephone, and an appointment can finally be scheduled.

This is inefficient but safe, and I greatly prefer it. In my old age I have given up making first moves; I simply will not do it. I will only indicate to the world that I am ready to be solicited.

17 February 2011

Scissors

Snip snap snip snap they went as they cut through the thread on which the basket was dangling. It dropped out of sight into the chasm below. We can only assume it hit ground with a thud, but we shall never know. If its contents spilled everywhere, we shall never see them, nor shall we ever discover what they were. May the dirt be soft, the wind blow gently, the scavengers leave them untroubled and unpawed.

01 February 2011

Upon Awakening

I like the sleepy sensuality of mornings. I wake up and feel sunshine and flannel soft against my skin and the soothing weight of blankets. The air is cold but I am wrapped up and folded up in sheets. Lying on my stomach I mold my body into the mattress so that I am cushioned by my own softness; and then I lie still and quiet and just feel things.