Health Nut

For breakfast she eats plain yogurt, to which she adds antioxidants, that is to say, berries. She sweetens it with agave nectar. Then she drinks a glass of pomegranate juice and eats one slice of whole spelt bread, with peanut butter, unsalted.

For lunch she has vegetable-quinoa salad, along with a side of hummus. She washes it down with clover leaf tea. But later, after dealing with several recalcitrant clients, she indulges in a Diet Pepsi—which, yes, contains aspartame, but she feels exhausted and needs pepping up.

Her boss comes back from his afternoon coffee break with doughnut holes, which he offers around the office. She perceives considerable social pressure not to turn them down.

Once home she plops onto her couch; watches television; begins to sip wine. Just one cigarette would do her some good. She is too tired to cook, so she orders a pizza. By the time it arrives, she has difficulty undoing the clasp on her wallet. The deliveryman finally helps her with it; she declares that he’s fabulous and tips thirty percent.

At three in the morning she wakes up with a dry mouth and an urgent need to urinate. She stumbles into the bathroom, banging into the sink. After relieving herself, she replenishes her system with water to which healthful vitamins have been added. Her head aches. She swallows some Advil, but feels bad about it later. She prefers to avoid pharmaceutical drugs.